Friday, May 23, 2014

5 Ways To FAIL On A Juice Detox


I'm not a bandwagon dieter. I believe very simplistically that if you burn more calories than you take in then you'll lose weight. I'm so overwhelmed by the South-Paleo-Clean-Eating-Gluten-Dash-Daniel-Beach craze that I'm pretty skeptical and jaded about any popular diet trend. But I read about Ebony's results of her juice detox, last week, I was super impressed. Impressed because that's my girl and I know that she wouldn't lie to me--well us. Impressed because the results seemed legit. Impressed because it actually looked attainable. So I gave it a try. My goal was to juice for 2 meals a day---for 4 days, only drink water, and have a clean dinner. Sounds easy enough right? Well I totally FAILED! Here's why:

5 Ways To Fail On A Juice Detox

  1. Forget about that juicer- I don't own a juicer. Yeah....I was probably destined to fail from here. Ha-ha! I borrowed a friends for day one and made Ebony's Sweet Cucumber Juice. Which was surprising good. The other 3 days I drank Odwalla Juices which are pasteurized and have far less nutritional value than I realized. I'm allergic to bananas, which seems to be in EVERY store bought veggie juice known to man.  What was I thinking? *hangs head*
  2. Workout like a maniac- Then I ran 10k on the first day. I felt awful. Light headed, stomach cramps. Headache. The works. I didn't take into account that with such a drastic change in my diet, my exercise regimen would need to decrease. *hangs head*
  3. Don't drink enough water- On Day 2 I realized that one meal a day wasn't going to cut it for my active lifestyle. So I increased to 2 solid meals and 32 oz of juice daily. But, I kinda forgot to drink more water. I didn't feel as awful, but not all that great either. *hangs head*
  4. Skip meal planning- I ran out of juice by Day 3. I didn't want to cheat so I had to run to the grocery store. Which wouldn't have been a big deal except I was swamped with real work, mommy duties, and everything that could go wrong went wrong. I ended up fasting until I could buy more juice which of course didn't happen until just before dinner time. *hangs head*
  5. Give up many other vices at the same time: It's no secret that I love my coffee and chocolate. I do have to admit that I did have a cup of coffee on the first day. To my defense, kinda, I forgot that I couldn't have it until I took the first sip. Then I thought, oh fudge, I might as well drink it now. Ha-ha! I do have good news: I was able to ditch coffee for the last 3 days of the detox though! 
What I Learned From My Juice Detox Fail:
  1. What it means to be full: My first "regular" meal after detoxing was 3 slices of my favorite veggie pizza. I felt worse that day than I did on my first day of the detox! I never really understood why I felt so sluggish, tired, and blah after overeating until now.
  2. What it means to have will power: This experience has taught me that moderation might not be best for me. I'm better able to completely eliminate my contact with coffee and chocolate than to have it in moderation because my self control is quite pitiful.
  3. What affect food has on my energy levels: I haven't felt this energized since before I had kids! No more 3'o clock crashes that required coffee to reboot. No more feeling too exhausted to function after dinner. I was able to better focus and concentrate when at work and decompress at home. 
Will I try a juice detox again? Meh...I'm really not sure. I haven't figured out if I want to invest in a good (read: expensive) juicer yet. But I have given up coffee and chocolate completely since ending this detox. I'm drinking only water or fruit + veggie smoothies daily. AND I've laid the smack down on my snacking. Even though a failed on the juicing expect, I loved the mental clarity that this detox gave me.

Have you tried a juice detox? How did you do?

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Besitos!
KLP






16 comments:

  1. That first reason to fail had me cracking up that was tooooo funny. My kids said "mommy why are you laughing" lol.. Yes if you decide to try this again you definitely need a juicer lol it's good you did have a friend's to borrow but you would probably need your own lol. I've never done a juice detox I love my smoothies. Maybe sometime in the future.

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    1. Ha-ha! Don't judge me Kendra...well nevermind judge away. Girl what was I thinking! Haha! I think that smoothies in addition to cleaner eating (ie no coffee, snacking, or chocolate) might be the way to go for me.

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  2. I feel your pain, dear. I tried the juice diet three years ago. The plan was to juice and eat salad and fruits for three days. I think I saw Jesus on my third day. Preparation is everything. I am sure you will be more prepared next time.

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    1. I didn't see the light but I felt some kinda awful! If I do commit to a juice detox again---it will be AFTER I buy a juicer. Ha-ha!

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  3. GREAT TIPS!!!! And at least you've tried it and if its not for you, hey its just not! I actually am doing it again with my Daddy and he's running around talking about IDK HOW YOU DID IT EBONY?! Lol! But I'm happy to be an inspiration...even if it was a complete and utter failure. I think the biggest part is you cannot workout strenuously, you simply don't have enough fuel in the tank for it!

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    1. Weirdly enough, I wasn't hungry---I actually felt full after having my juice, I just had a MEGA migraine the first two days. Once I added in the clean lunch I felt 100% better. If I try it again---I definitely need to buy a juicer so that I can try all of your cool recipes!

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  4. KLP... bless yah no juicer, you kept going though girl. great tips and obviously next time you will be winning.

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    1. Thanks Maureen! Now that I look back on it, I was pretty silly to try a juice detox without a juicer! I thought that my magic bullet would suffice----and well---it didn't! Ha-ha!

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  5. This was a funny post sorry but i had to laugh at the first reason hahahha. I would really love to try a juice detox but the fear of hunger will not let me lol. I tried a smoothies only day and had to give up by dinnertime I had a headache from not eating proper food lol the smoothies only filled me up for a little while but then i needed some proper food in my system to keep going.

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    1. The magic combo for me was 32 oz of juice twice a day, a ton of water with a clean lunch and dinner. I didn't figure this out until day 4 though. Ha-ha! That was the best day of the detox!

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  6. You are such a trooper...lol. Dont give up on it yet...do what I did. I put a juicer and a hair steamer on my Bday list last year. Hubby gifted me the steamer and my 2 besties put together and gifted me the Juicer. This year I want a sewing machine and a split-Ender ....am already talking them to death about it. start planting those seeds now. lol

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    1. Great idea Sammy! I'll probably do that!

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  7. I HATE the juicer. I refuse to use it lol. But you will definitely be doing the dang thing next time!

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  8. LOL #1 is spot on, I don't have a juicer either. #5 is a sure fail when trying to eat healthier on the whole.

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    1. Weirdly enough, I think that the best thing about this detox was quitting coffee and chocolate. I've been trying {kinda :/} to do that for at least 6 months.

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